Yesterday, I was in tears after a tough day. I mean I was beginning to question everything. I knew this year would be a challenge, but that was way beyond anything I had imagined. If you can believe it, I was longing for the busy days of student teaching (and the coursework that went along with it). I was in such a state that I called my mother.
Today, I also shed tears at the end of the day. I was overwhelmed with joy! I felt confident and comfortable. I was able to make a positive phone call home for a student. I had a successful parent conference. My students demonstrated a greater responsibility with their work; I was able to do my homework dance! This was just the day that I needed to keep me on course.
After my day yesterday, my husband told me that I would be okay, to hang in there, and know that teaching has many ups and downs. He was not surprised when I told him what a GREAT day I had today. I know there are many highs and lows to come, but with each day comes a new set of challenges and rewards.
I will shed many more tears as I continue in this profession. I hope they never go away. They are my reminder that I am invested in the students, and what I am doing. I see them as a testament to my strength, my weakness, my humanity.
You must know that we all shed tears, no matter the age level you teach. There are many days in higher ed that I've experienced just as you've experienced. Hang in there! When you no longer shed the tears of joy or frustration, then you'll know that it's time for you to move on from this profession. For it is in those tears that you release all of the emotions which brought you to this place to begin with!
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