Time Well Spent

This weekend I did something crazy - I attended a Drive-In conference sponsored by the North Carolina Teacher Academy even though report cards are due this week. At first, I was thinking, "Why am I doing this to myself?" I could only hope that the experience and new knowledge would be worth the time investment. It was more than worth it!

I went to "Literacy and Content Strategies for ESL Students." I co-teach with the ESL teacher at my school, who gave me the information about this conference; she was attending, so I decided I should also attend. The sessions were Friday from 6-9 and Saturday from 8-4. I know, that is a long time, but the trainers packed so many practical and useful strategies into that time that I was swimming in new ideas for my lessons. Needless to say, I was a bit overwhelmed with thoughts of how I wanted to use these new strategies.

As we left the conference yesterday, the ESL teacher and I were chatting away with new ideas for our students. It did seem odd to be discussing new ideas for the last nine weeks of school, but I think it is very important to use different strategies throughout the year, especially during the 4th quarter with 5th graders; my students are looking forward to the summer and beginning middle school in the fall, not necessarily on the work at hand. I think a fresh perspective will help all of us end the year with a new sense of excitement about learning.

Yes, it is Sunday and I am having to do extreme amounts of work today in order to prep for the upcoming week and report cards. Could I have really used those hours to prepare for this week? Yes. Am I going to be worn out all week trying to play catch-up? Yes. Was it worth it? YES!

*For those of you who do not know about, or have never attended a training by, the North Carolina Teacher Academy please look into the trainings that they offer. The sessions are by teachers for teachers. Also, this organization, along with other educational organizations, are on the chopping block during NC budget discussions. If you feel strongly about the cuts being made to education, please contact your local legislators.

Tears...

Wow! I have only gone through two days of teaching this week and have already shed tears...on both days, none the less.

Yesterday, I was in tears after a tough day. I mean I was beginning to question everything. I knew this year would be a challenge, but that was way beyond anything I had imagined. If you can believe it, I was longing for the busy days of student teaching (and the coursework that went along with it). I was in such a state that I called my mother.

Today, I also shed tears at the end of the day. I was overwhelmed with joy! I felt confident and comfortable. I was able to make a positive phone call home for a student. I had a successful parent conference. My students demonstrated a greater responsibility with their work; I was able to do my homework dance! This was just the day that I needed to keep me on course.

After my day yesterday, my husband told me that I would be okay, to hang in there, and know that teaching has many ups and downs. He was not surprised when I told him what a GREAT day I had today. I know there are many highs and lows to come, but with each day comes a new set of challenges and rewards.

I will shed many more tears as I continue in this profession. I hope they never go away. They are my reminder that I am invested in the students, and what I am doing. I see them as a testament to my strength, my weakness, my humanity.

Wanting to Run Before I Can Walk

I have managed to survive my first two weeks teaching. Well, it was more like 7.5 days due to the winter weather. Just when I was starting to establish procedures, and looking forward to moving along with the curriculum...BAM. I suppose that is life; as soon as we get a little comfortable, something happens to keep us on our toes.

I am anxious to get into a real routine with my class. One that lasts for more than 5 days. Unfortunately, we have end of quarter assessments this week, along with a field trip. I suppose I should get used to these crazy schedule changes, as they seem to be a regular part of the school year.

I am feeling so overwhelmed with meetings, paperwork, planning for the many different learning needs in my classroom, and trying to develop a sense of classroom community during an already packed school day. There is so much that I want to do, but am not sure how to go about doing it. I guess it is all about the process. I know that I can't be perfect, but is it bad to strive for that ideal? I have found myself becoming frustrated about being a first year teacher over the past few weeks. I know that if I had more experience I could do such a better job teaching my students. I worry that what I am able to do will not be enough; it is always on my mind.

Mariposas

My alarm clock will go off in 6 hours, but I will probably be awake by then. Tomorrow is my first day of school as a teacher. I have my outfit laid out, my lunch packed, breakfast items lined up for morning assembly, my bags ready to go, and my plans typed.

I am anxious to get started, and I hope, I hope, I hope that I have prepared enough for the first day. I feel like I have gone over the day in my mind a million times already. I definitely have a million butterflies in my stomach right now. I know they will fly away as soon as I get into the day.

Ready, or not, here I come!

The Finish Line is Just the Beginning

Wow! I cannot believe that I have finished the MAT program. It seems like yesterday that I was nervous about even applying...now it is over. Being a student has consumed the last 1.5 years of my life and now it is time to become the teacher. I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared to be in charge of educating a group of young people. In fact, I am terrified. I know that I will give the students my all, but will that be enough?

I guess I will find out in a month's time. I will be teaching a group of fifth graders very, very soon. I want to inspire them, push them beyond the limits they thought possible, and show them that learning is about more than an assessment. I always push myself, and will expect the same of my students. We are always capable of more than we ever imagined when we are faced with a challenge.

So, I will keep posting as my experiences move from a student to a teacher. This is just the beginning....

Feeling defeated...now inspired

The past few weeks I had been feeling down on education. I was exhausted and wondering why I had decided to go into this field in the first place. It is hard to keep the spirits up amid other people's frustrations, a lack of sleep, and a feeling that despite how many different ways I try something it just isn't working.

I have been fighting so hard against my own complacency and newfound pessimism toward education. I had lost my rose colored glasses amidst the rest of the mess in my house and desperately needed to find them again! You will be happy to know that I found them... in class on Thursday afternoon.

We had a panel of experienced teachers in our seminar that afternoon. It was so refreshing to hear them speak with such hope for education. I began to remember that I went into this field in order to make a positive impact in the lives of children. I was the eternal optimist that thought 'if I work hard enough and put forth a positive demeanor, I CAN make a difference'. I wanted to create a classroom environment in which ALL students felt safe, valued, and successful. Why had I lost that vision for myself? Thankfully I was able to recapture my vision that afternoon. Thank you teachers who took time on your day off to speak to us. To paraphrase one of the teacher's reasons for coming back to teaching day after day, year after year... I believe that we can change the world.